Giving Encouragement to Mothers
THE DAY is Wednesday and it’s 8:00 a.m. already, and neither I nor my
two boys are ready to leave. Perhaps we should just stay home. Hasn’t it been a stressful week without rushing around now?
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My husband John says, “Go — it’ll help you feel better.” I know he is right.
My youngest son is playing with his toys and still undressed. When I tell John Thomas and Joshua we’ll be going to G.E.M.’s they quickly stop their playing. They know where we’re going they’ll have a good time with other children. So we’re off to my mother’s support group — a place where others can identify with the joys and stresses of raising young children.
Many mother’s support groups have been forming to provide understanding, assistance, connection and to celebrate motherhood. Our church based group has taken the verse in 1 Thess. 5:11 as our motto text (“Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another. . .” — KJV) and the name G.E.M.’s (Giving Encouragement to Mothers). Clearly a mother has a full-time job when she can and does choose to spend most and sometimes all of the day home with small children and to be there when older children get out of school. Many attending G.E.M.’s are stay-at-home mom and others handle parenting with jobs outside the home.
Today my children attend school and some of those earlier stresses have decreased. But I still appreciate the sharing and encouragement received in this mother’s group that I’ve been a part of since its inception five years ago. Since we all experience the same concerns and joys in parenting, our backgrounds and varying ages seem irrelevant. I become a mother for the first time in my forties.
“We can learn from each other and you’re an encouragement to me as well,” said Carol, our group leader, who also at midlife has a preschooler.
The articles on parenting considered from a Biblical point of view and the resulting discussions enable me to put my concerns in perspective are an asset in raising my family. Most of the mothers seem to feel free with sharing their experiences and many stories exchanged have been very humorous. Each can relate to the topic under discussion through a different period of her life — perhaps retrospectively or in anticipation of situations that have yet to occur.
We have considered many issues relevant to our role as women, wives and mothers, and also managers of our homes. Some areas covered included building self-esteem and identity, how we can be an encouragement to others, creating a loving home, marriage and family relationships, experiences with depression, miscarriage, adoption, finding joy in every day, nurturing our family and ourselves and keys to surviving stress and managing time more effectively. A recent guest speaker helped us to more fully understand that what a child truly needs from his parents is time, attention and acceptance.
So many times the topic met my very need at that moment. Just a few months ago our group had an open
forum. I mentioned my struggle with sometimes feeling frustration with my children’s lack of obedience and the anger I feel when this happens. The group was supportive and offered many suggestions on how to avoid, or how to cope when these emotions arise. But I further sensed from the others present, this was an issue they struggled with also. I left feeling much encouraged, comforted and part of a sisterhood.
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The opportunity to talk about challenges and triumphs and then pray for a particular situation a mother here might be facing, has been important to me. This experience has created an additional bond among us. It was
especially significant for me to remember in prayer a mother who was pursuing another adoption. I knew firsthand what she was experiencing.
There have been times when I wondered, “where was this group when I was a new mom and felt so anxious and inept?” Many a mom has felt less isolated here and friendships have developed.
“I enjoy coming and my English is improving,” said my new-found friend from Chile. And my Spanish is improving, and I am learning about her culture.
From my own experience I know that mothers raising small children never seem to have a chance to finish any activity or project they start. So the chance to complete a craft in G.E.M.’s and take it home provides a sense of accomplishment and is a self-esteem booster. The holiday crafts are especially popular and my boys argue over who gets to keep what.
“Is that top for me, Mommy?” my son Joshua asked after a recent clothes exchange. I was pleased that he liked the things I got, while I found someone who could use clothes my children had outgrown.
The morning’s activities serve as a venue for mothers to have fellowship, socialize, voice their concerns with peers and receive insight and helpful advice.
So if occasionally there are times for one reason or another it seems difficult getting started in the morning, it doesn’t take much reflecting to know why I want to go to G.E.M.’s — and I’m soon on my way.
This story first appeared in the Positively Woman E-zine, November 2003.
This article copyright PJ Davis 2010 and may not be reproduced in any form without her express permission.