Giving Encouragement to Mothers
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My husband John says, "Go, it'll help you feel better." I know he is right.
My youngest son is playing with his toys
and still undressed. When I tell John Thomas and Joshua
we'll be going to G.E.M.'s they quickly stop their
playing. They know where we're going they'll have a
good time with other children. So we're off to my
mother's support group, a place where others can
identify with the joys and stresses of raising young children.
Many mother's support groups have
been forming to provide understanding, assistance, connection
and to celebrate motherhood. Our church based group has taken
the verse in 1 Thess. 5:11 as our motto text ("Wherefore
comfort yourselves together, and edify one another. . ."; KJV) and the name G.E.M.'s (Giving Encouragement to
Mothers). Clearly a mother has a full-time job when she can and
does choose to spend most and sometimes all of the day home
with small children and to be there when older children get out
of school. Many attending G.E.M.'s are stay-at-home moms
and others handle parenting with jobs outside the home.
Today my children attend school and some
of those earlier stresses have decreased. But I still
appreciate the sharing and encouragement received in this
mother's group that I've been a part of since its
inception five years ago. Since we all experience the same
concerns and joys in parenting, our backgrounds and varying
ages seem irrelevant. I become a mother for the first time in
my forties.
"We can learn from each other and
you're an encouragement to me as well," said Carol,
our group leader, who also at midlife has a preschooler.
The articles on parenting considered from
a Biblical point of view and the resulting discussions enable
me to put my concerns in perspective are an asset in raising my
family. Most of the mothers seem to feel free with sharing
their experiences and many stories exchanged have been very
humorous. Each can relate to the topic under discussion through
a different period of her life, perhaps retrospectively
or in anticipation of situations that have yet to occur.
We have considered many issues relevant to
our role as women, wives and mothers, and also managers of our
homes. Some areas covered included building self-esteem and
identity, how we can be an encouragement to others, creating a
loving home, marriage and family relationships, experiences
with depression, miscarriage, adoption, finding joy in every
day, nurturing our family and ourselves and keys to surviving
stress and managing time more effectively. A recent guest
speaker helped us to more fully understand that what a child
truly needs from his parents is time, attention and acceptance.
So many times the topic met my very need
at that moment. Just a few months ago our group had an open
forum. I mentioned my struggle with
sometimes feeling frustration with my children's lack of
obedience and the anger I feel when this happens. The group was
supportive and offered many suggestions on how to avoid, or how
to cope when these emotions arise. But I further sensed from
the others present, this was an issue they struggled with also.
I left feeling much encouraged, comforted and part of a
sisterhood.
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The opportunity to talk about challenges
and triumphs and then pray for a particular situation a mother
here might be facing, has been important to me. This experience
has created an additional bond among us.
It was especially significant for me to remember in prayer a mother who was pursuing another adoption. I knew firsthand what she was experiencing.
It was especially significant for me to remember in prayer a mother who was pursuing another adoption. I knew firsthand what she was experiencing.
There have been times when I wondered, "where was this group when I was a new mom and felt so
anxious and inept?" Many a mom has felt less isolated
here and friendships have developed.
"I enjoy coming and my English is
improving," said my new-found friend from Chile. And my
Spanish is improving, and I am learning about her culture.
From my own experience I know that mothers
raising small children never seem to have a chance to finish
any activity or project they start. So the chance to complete a
craft in G.E.M.'s and take it home provides a sense of
accomplishment and is a self-esteem booster. The holiday crafts
are especially popular and my boys argue over who gets to keep
what.
"Is that top for me, Mommy?"
my son Joshua asked after a recent clothes exchange. I was
pleased that he liked the things I got, while I found someone
who could use clothes my children had outgrown.
The morning's activities serve as a
venue for mothers to have fellowship, socialize, voice their
concerns with peers and receive insight and helpful advice.
So if occasionally there are times for one
reason or another it seems difficult getting started in the
morning, it doesn't take much reflecting to know why I
want to go to G.E.M.'s, and I'm soon on my
way.
This story first appeared in the Positively Woman E-zine,
November 2003.
This article copyright PJ Davis 2010 and
may not be reproduced in any form without her express
permission.