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Giving Encouragement to Mothers
THE DAY is
Wednesday and it’s 8:00 a.m. already, and neither I nor
my two boys are ready to leave. Perhaps we should just stay
home. Hasn’t it been a stressful week without rushing
around now?
My husband John says, “Go —
it’ll help you feel better.” I know he is right.
My youngest son is playing with his toys
and still undressed. When I tell John Thomas and Joshua
we’ll be going to G.E.M.’s they quickly stop their
playing. They know where we’re going they’ll have a
good time with other children. So we’re off to my
mother’s support group — a place where others can
identify with the joys and stresses of raising young children.
Many mother’s support groups
have been forming to provide understanding, assistance,
connection and to celebrate motherhood. Our church based group
has taken the verse in 1 Thess. 5:11 as our motto text
(“Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one
another. . .” — KJV) and the name G.E.M.’s
(Giving Encouragement to Mothers). Clearly a mother has a
full-time job when she can and does choose to spend most and
sometimes all of the day home with small children and to be
there when older children get out of school. Many attending
G.E.M.’s are stay-at-home mom and others handle parenting
with jobs outside the home.
Today my children attend school and some
of those earlier stresses have decreased. But I still
appreciate the sharing and encouragement received in this
mother’s group that I’ve been a part of since its
inception five years ago. Since we all experience the same
concerns and joys in parenting, our backgrounds and varying
ages seem irrelevant. I become a mother for the first time in
my forties.
“We can learn from each other and
you’re an encouragement to me as well,” said Carol,
our group leader, who also at midlife has a preschooler.
The articles on parenting considered from
a Biblical point of view and the resulting discussions enable
me to put my concerns in perspective are an asset in raising my
family. Most of the mothers seem to feel free with sharing
their experiences and many stories exchanged have been very
humorous. Each can relate to the topic under discussion through
a different period of her life — perhaps retrospectively
or in anticipation of situations that have yet to occur.
We have considered many issues
relevant to our role as women, wives and mothers, and also
managers of our homes. Some areas covered included building
self-esteem and identity, how we can be an encouragement to
others, creating a loving home, marriage and family
relationships, experiences with depression, miscarriage,
adoption, finding joy in every day, nurturing our family and
ourselves and keys to surviving stress and managing time more
effectively. A recent guest speaker helped us to more fully
understand that what a child truly needs from his parents is
time, attention and acceptance.
So many times the topic met my very
need at that moment. Just a few months ago our group had an
open forum. I mentioned my struggle with sometimes feeling
frustration with my children’s lack of obedience and the
anger I feel when this happens. The group was supportive and
offered many suggestions on how to avoid, or how to cope when
these emotions arise. But I further sensed from the others
present, this was an issue they struggled with also. I left
feeling much encouraged, comforted and part of a sisterhood.
The opportunity to talk about challenges
and triumphs and then pray for a particular situation a mother
here might be facing, has been important to me. This experience
has created an additional bond among us. It was
especially significant for me to remember
in prayer a mother who was pursuing another adoption. I knew
firsthand what she was experiencing.
There have been times when I wondered,
“where was this group when I was a new mom and felt so
anxious and inept?” Many a mom has felt less isolated
here and friendships have developed.
“I enjoy coming and my English is
improving,” said my new-found friend from Chile. And my
Spanish is improving, and I am learning about her culture.
From my own experience I know that
mothers raising small children never seem to have a chance to
finish any activity or project they start. So the chance to
complete a craft in G.E.M.’s and take it home provides a
sense of accomplishment and is a self-esteem booster. The
holiday crafts are especially popular and my boys argue over
who gets to keep what.
“Is that top for me,
Mommy?” my son Joshua asked after a recent clothes
exchange. I was pleased that he liked the things I got, while I
found someone who could use clothes my children had outgrown.
The morning’s activities serve as a
venue for mothers to have fellowship, socialize, voice their
concerns with peers and receive insight and helpful advice.
So if occasionally there are times for
one reason or another it seems difficult getting started in the
morning, it doesn’t take much reflecting to know why I
want to go to G.E.M.’s — and I’m soon on my
way.
This article first appeared in the Positively Woman E-zine,
November 2003.
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This article copyright P J Davis 2005 and
may not be reproduced in any form without her express
permission.